Post by marie on Oct 20, 2015 23:02:09 GMT
Angel was the first male born in his immediate and extended family and thus a treasure and blessing. He was born to immigrant parents who very much adhered to their traditional Hispanic culture. In the Hispanic culture, males were very important; they were the providers while girls were the caretakers. Angel was adored by his mother. She smothered him with love and affection and everyone followed suit. One time he was caught eating chocolate directly from a jar. He was smothered in chocolate, obviously guilty of doing something he shouldn’t, but when his mother asked him what was he doing, he said, “nothing.” His mother found his actions as well as his denial, delightful. He ego was definitely being stroked, he could do no wrong and the word “no” was not in Angel’s vocabulary. He felt loved; life at this stage was a pleasurable experience. Freud would probably say that this is where Angel’s problems started as Angel never suffered any consequences for his actions.
As a youngster, Angel would follow his father around the house. He wanted to help Daddy with the yard work or with repairs around the house. Unfortunately, Daddy didn’t have the patience to work with Angel and usually shoed him away. Thus, Angel lost his same-sex parent with whom to identify with. Freud would say that when there was a conflict with a same-sex parent, that this would most likely cause the child to either become sexually promiscuous or be very vain. Angel became vain. With Angel’s pleasure principle fully engaged and the fact he had no one to stimulate his male role behavior he was now more confused than ever. His damaged personality was cemented. Angel lacked confidence, and identify and boundaries. Now Angel knew right from wrong to a certain extent. You don’t run into the street without looking both ways, you share your toys but his personality was suffering a blow. His defense mechanism was relying on his sense of humor to stand out. Angel’s lack of rational made everyone the butt of his jokes, including teachers. He always walked a fine line. His behavior was condoned by the students who voted him “class clown.” A title Angel wore proudly.
As an adult, Angel appeared confident, wealthy, educated and mature. This was a façade as those of us who knew Angel saw him differently. He struggled with his identity. Angel dropped out of college because he wanted to hang out with his friends and college required an investment of time he wasn’t willing to sacrifice. Again, he was exhibiting another sign of pleasure principle. Angel is going to do what makes Angel happy. At the age of 26 his father advised him that he needed a full time job so that he could financially contribute to the household income since he was still living at home. Angel got lucky and found a job with a corporate 500 company. He clearly understood that in order to move up the corporate ladder he needed an education which the company was willing to pay for. Still, he was not motivated to pursue an education. Instead, when he was passed by for a promotion, he would become angry and find fault in the person who was given the job. When Angel went out with his friends, he threw money around. He bought everyone drinks and splurged on life but within a couple of weeks he was out of money and angry. Angel spoke as if he was an Ivy League man. He fooled many people and to this day continues to fool himself. The last time I saw Angel, he asked me how school was. At the time I was taking English Critical Thinking. I would describe what critical thinking was. I could see that he was pondering the information and then I would give him an example of a lack of critical thinking. Again, I could see that it would register but he quickly dismissed it and changed the subject and proceeded to tell me about his last wine tasting adventures. Angel also lived in the past. Whenever there was a discussion of sports, Angel was quick to remind us he lettered as a freshman in high school. There was reality principle at work. He could only comprehend his immediate gratification. He actions clearly showed a lack of rational.
Freud would say that Angel’s journey was disturbed. Now at 55 should Angel seek psychological help for his anxiety and personality disorder? It would be terribly painful for Angel to unlock his unconscious mind to see where things went wrong. Has Angel’s life been an adventure in nonsense? Since it is doubtful that Angel will seek counseling due to his lack of commitment, would it be therapeutic for him to write a letter and delve into his memories much like the students of Sai Baba?
It’s obvious that Angel is a clear contraction. In watching the video, The Octagonal Philosophy of Errol Flynn, I think of Angel. Errol Flynn found many contradictions in himself. I can associate many of Flynn’s quotes with Angel, however, the one that stood out was, “I have a zest for living yet have an urge to die.” Angel once told me he contemplated, for a moment, ending his life. He was confused by behavior, lack of direction and his actions. He has relied heavily on humor to cope. Anytime he cracks a joke he says, “I’m funny.” I laugh and say, “of course you are, just ask yourself.” Angel is in turmoil and he knows it but he is a survivor so life goes on. After all, he has to believe in something to have purpose so he believes in a false sense of who he is.
As a youngster, Angel would follow his father around the house. He wanted to help Daddy with the yard work or with repairs around the house. Unfortunately, Daddy didn’t have the patience to work with Angel and usually shoed him away. Thus, Angel lost his same-sex parent with whom to identify with. Freud would say that when there was a conflict with a same-sex parent, that this would most likely cause the child to either become sexually promiscuous or be very vain. Angel became vain. With Angel’s pleasure principle fully engaged and the fact he had no one to stimulate his male role behavior he was now more confused than ever. His damaged personality was cemented. Angel lacked confidence, and identify and boundaries. Now Angel knew right from wrong to a certain extent. You don’t run into the street without looking both ways, you share your toys but his personality was suffering a blow. His defense mechanism was relying on his sense of humor to stand out. Angel’s lack of rational made everyone the butt of his jokes, including teachers. He always walked a fine line. His behavior was condoned by the students who voted him “class clown.” A title Angel wore proudly.
As an adult, Angel appeared confident, wealthy, educated and mature. This was a façade as those of us who knew Angel saw him differently. He struggled with his identity. Angel dropped out of college because he wanted to hang out with his friends and college required an investment of time he wasn’t willing to sacrifice. Again, he was exhibiting another sign of pleasure principle. Angel is going to do what makes Angel happy. At the age of 26 his father advised him that he needed a full time job so that he could financially contribute to the household income since he was still living at home. Angel got lucky and found a job with a corporate 500 company. He clearly understood that in order to move up the corporate ladder he needed an education which the company was willing to pay for. Still, he was not motivated to pursue an education. Instead, when he was passed by for a promotion, he would become angry and find fault in the person who was given the job. When Angel went out with his friends, he threw money around. He bought everyone drinks and splurged on life but within a couple of weeks he was out of money and angry. Angel spoke as if he was an Ivy League man. He fooled many people and to this day continues to fool himself. The last time I saw Angel, he asked me how school was. At the time I was taking English Critical Thinking. I would describe what critical thinking was. I could see that he was pondering the information and then I would give him an example of a lack of critical thinking. Again, I could see that it would register but he quickly dismissed it and changed the subject and proceeded to tell me about his last wine tasting adventures. Angel also lived in the past. Whenever there was a discussion of sports, Angel was quick to remind us he lettered as a freshman in high school. There was reality principle at work. He could only comprehend his immediate gratification. He actions clearly showed a lack of rational.
Freud would say that Angel’s journey was disturbed. Now at 55 should Angel seek psychological help for his anxiety and personality disorder? It would be terribly painful for Angel to unlock his unconscious mind to see where things went wrong. Has Angel’s life been an adventure in nonsense? Since it is doubtful that Angel will seek counseling due to his lack of commitment, would it be therapeutic for him to write a letter and delve into his memories much like the students of Sai Baba?
It’s obvious that Angel is a clear contraction. In watching the video, The Octagonal Philosophy of Errol Flynn, I think of Angel. Errol Flynn found many contradictions in himself. I can associate many of Flynn’s quotes with Angel, however, the one that stood out was, “I have a zest for living yet have an urge to die.” Angel once told me he contemplated, for a moment, ending his life. He was confused by behavior, lack of direction and his actions. He has relied heavily on humor to cope. Anytime he cracks a joke he says, “I’m funny.” I laugh and say, “of course you are, just ask yourself.” Angel is in turmoil and he knows it but he is a survivor so life goes on. After all, he has to believe in something to have purpose so he believes in a false sense of who he is.